The Chronicles of Envy and Deidara
by Fullmidget Alchemist
Summary: ..or, the madness of the clay! Deidara and Envy are bored, and decide to do Envy's hair! Chapter 1 in memory of Full Mental Alchemist. No, not EnvyxDeidara.
1. Hairstylist Deidara

Just a short little side-intermission story to keep you entertained.

May make more chapters, depending on if I _feel_ like it.

Deidara and Envy chaos!

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST! OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!  
I do own a nifty new Rock Lee action figure!**

**oOoOoOo**

* * *

While utter chaos was going on with other people, and while Fullmidget Alchemist was writing the next big chapter of 'All in the Name of Randomness', Envy and Deidara were busy being the bored little genderless people that they are.

"I'm not genderless, un."

"Neither am I." Envy said in his girly voice.

"What exactly are you, un?" Dei-Dei asked the palm tree.

"I'm a guy! They said so"

"Really? I never woulda guessed, what with the skort and all, un." Deidara laughed.

"Anyways" said a mysterious voice "Lets get on with the story."

"SHUT-UP! AND WHATS WITH THE WHOLE 'MYSTERIOUS VOICE' THING! WHO ARE YOU!"

The mysterious voice stepped out to reveal he was actually...

Shino's dad!

Yay! So Shino's daddy is the 'mysterious voice' for this story!

"Anyways...like I said, get on with the story or I'll beat you with a spork."

So a few minutes later, Deidara was talking with Envy about..hair!

"Yeah, so..Deidara, how DO you get your hair like that? So silky smooth and fluffy..." Envy whined. "Mine's just SPIKES SPIKES SPIKES"

"Well, I like to use the salon-quality shampoo and stuff, so I borrow Itachi's, un. He gets discounts because he buys so much of the stuff!"

"Do you think you could fix my hair to make me more...uh...un-spike-ified?" Envy asked.

"Sure, this will be easy." Deidara took his hairband out, causing his long blonde hair to spread across his shoulders and back. OMFG DEIDARA IS SO HOT WITH HIS HAIR DOWN. "Ok..now we need another hair-doohickey." so one poofed out of mid-air! Actually, Shino's dad threw it at Deidara.

"Ok! Now for the fun part, un!" Deidara began messing with Envy's hair.

Messy messy messy messy messy ROCK LEE messy messy messy messy...

A few minutes later, Deidara's 'masterpiece' was finished.

"Ok! Now..." he picked up a mirror, glancing in it briefly_. "Damn, I look GOOD." _he thought. "Ok, so what do you think?"

Envy stared at his reflection in the mirror. In it, he had two spikey pigtails on the sides of his head. "I...look..." she started shaking with either anger or glee. It actually turned out to be the latter. "I LOOK ADORABLE!" He hugged Deidara "THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!" Deidara hugged him back. "Yeah! Now we're two hot amigos!"

I'll just leave you with the image of Deidara and Envy hugging.

FIN

* * *

So, whattya think? Should I write another chapter? REVIEW PLEASE!

**oOoOoOo**


	2. Spork Madness

Here we go! Chapter 2: Spork Madness

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST, OR ANY OTHER ANIME/MANGA/OR ANY CHARACTERS! I do own a set of Chibi!Sound Five keychains! CHIBI KIMIMARO!**

**oOoOoOo

* * *

**

"I think its a spoon."

"I think its a fork, un."

"But its round like a spoon." the palm-tree

"It has prongs, like a fork does, un!" Deidara contradicted.

The two were in the midst of a very heated conversation. They were staring at a very pertrubing eating utensil. It was round, like a spoon, yet had prongs, like a fork. The two did not know this, but an instrument of this sort of often called a 'spork' or a 'foon'. Only a foon is different from a spork. You'll see if you ever see the foon they have in a museum in New York. Baffling.

"So, what is it? A spoon or a fork, un?"

"I say spoon."

"FORK!"

"But-"

"Don't make me use these..." Deidara held out a pair of scissors near Envy's hair, making the palm tree scream.

"NOOO! DEIDARA PLEASE DON'T MESS UP MY HAIR ZOMG OKAY ITS A FORK WHATEVER!"

"Hah. I knew I was right, un."

With that, the argument was settled, and Deidara went back to painting Envy's nails a lovely shade of Akatsuki purple.

"You know, you really should join Akatsuki, un. It'd be so much fun to have someone I could gossip with, and have makeup parties with, and-"

"But there's only one problem" Envy said

"What's that?" Deidara said, munching on a muffin that magically appeared out of someplace.

"I live in a different universe."

"Then...how are we both here, in my universe, painting nails and stuff. And where did that muffin go, un?"

"You ate the muffin."

"Oh yeah. I knew that, un."

...-silence-...

"I have a rash."

Then, to avoid hearing other things, the mysterious voice -cough-AburameShibi-cough- came over the speakerphonething.

"OKAY, LET ME CLEAR SOMETHING UP! THAT IS NOT A SPOON OR A FORK, IT IS A SPORK!"

"Why not a foon, un?"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

"Oh well. Just give me more muffins!"

and then a truckload of muffins fell on Deidara and Envy, and they were happy forever eating muffins until they got really fat and had to go on a diet and they lost a lot of weight and were on the commercials for those people who lost a lot of weight on 'so-an-so diet' and bla bla bla bla..

FIN

* * *

Hahahwahahaha! New chapter! Envy and Deidara sporkfoon madness! Umm...yeah. Just a little note, there actually IS a real foon in a museum in New York, though I can't remember what museum it is. Its different from a spork. Its really cool. I want a foon. Umm...yeah...ENVY DEIDARA MADNESS! Shino's dad is the announcerbunny only without the bunny. Hmm yeah...

**REVIEW PLEASE! PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE WITH ENVY AND DEIDARA AND ITACHI AND KYUUBI ON TOP? **

**oOoOoOo**


End file.
